


A-Z OneShots

by Lirial89



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Child Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 02:12:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirial89/pseuds/Lirial89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots, each chapter will start with a letter of the alphabet. Unless otherwise stated none of the chapters are in the same universe.<br/>Was previously posted on FFN.<br/>Enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alien

Alien

 

He could not help it. It was a weakness, a distraction that didn't make sense.

It was illogical and to even contemplate it was beyond everything he had been taught as a child.

How could one Human, one brash, arrogant, insulting human make him feel more strongly than he had ever felt before?

James Tiberius Kirk was illogical and seemed to act without thinking. He was crude and irritating. He shouldn't have mattered to Spock, it made no sense.

But….

James Tiberius Kirk was supremely intelligent and a methodical planner. He set goals and did everything in his power to complete them. He let nothing stand in his way when he thought that things had to change. He was loyal to a fault and always saw an alternate way to do something. He was a survivor. He was passionate and cared so very deeply for everyone he met.

He was completely alien to Spock who thrived on logic and reason.

But at night when they fell asleep wrapped in each others arms, Spock wouldn't have it any other way.


	2. Battle

Battle

 

It was a battle everyday for Jim Kirk.

He was so used to people seeing his father when they looked at him. His mother could barely stand more than minutes in his presence, he looked so much like his dead father now. His step-father had always hated him but that too had gotten worse when he joined Starfleet.

The whispers that had followed him his whole life had only gotten louder one he was at Starfleet.

"See him, that guy? He's Jim Kirk, you know George Kirk's son."

"Oh, Jimmy you look so much like him,"

"Waste of his fathers sacrifice,"

It took a bar fight, a regular occurrence for Jim to discover something that had never occurred to him before.

"Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred people, including you. I dare you to do better,"

He could be better than his perfect father, he could move past the shadow of a dead man and become someone worth something.

"Look! There's Jim Kirk, you know the Captain of the Enterprise, the one who saved the earth."

It was a battle every day to move past his fathers shadow and get people to see him for who he is. But standing on the bridge of the Enterprise was worth every second of it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. thinking of making this one a story not just a one shot… what you think?
> 
> Warning: contains mentions of child abuse, rape, suicide and general hate… Don't like don't read.

Conversations

 

Spock entered the court yard silently, he was considering what the older version of himself had said. Do what feels right. How was he supposed to quantify a feeling of rightness? It was an illogical sentiment but instead of simply dismissing it as folly he was trying to work out what Spock Prime had meant.

He slowed to a halt as he heard Cadet – no Captain Kirk's voice along with another male voice that had a similar resonance to it, just by comparing the two quickly he had gathered that they were either related or had grown up together, adopting similar speech pattens and rhythms. The other man's voice was harsher, less refined, lacking the soothing quality of Jim Kirk's.

Spock paused out of sight of the two and debated on wether or not to continue along the path, wait for the conversation to end or turn around and go another way. His curiosity overcame his respect for the brash young man's privacy as he made out the words that were being said.

"Well look at you, Captain Jim Kirk saviour of the Earth," Came the sardonic words of the other man. "If only they knew the real you," the last bit was full of malice.

"Come on Sam, don't do this now," Came Jim's voice full of pleading. "Can't you just be happy I've made something of myself?" there was a faint undercurrent of hope in his voice as he practically begged the other man not to continue speaking. His entreaty was ignored as this Sam continued lash out at him verbally.

"What? You too good to talk about your past now? Worthless bastard! Try too forget all you like Jimmy, I'll always remind you." There was a threat wide open in the harshness of Sam's voice. "I'll start right now actually," he said with a bark of laughter. "How about you living while Dad died? Or how Mom can't even stand to see your face or hear you voice 'cause you sound like him? How does it feel Little Brother to know that our mother hated you for every breath you took because you survived while the love of her life died? How did it feel growing up like that knowing that no one in our family gave a shit about you?" Spock was stunned, this wasn't what he had been expecting at all, he had been expecting congratulations and praise not – hate.

"Sam, stop, please just stop," Jim's voice was soft full of pain and betrayal and something that saddened Spock the most – resignation. As if he didn't expect more from his brother than hate and bitterness, as if he knew no matter how hard he protested his brother would continue to spit out these hated, painful truths.

"Or how about this Jimmy, Mom and I both knew what Frank did to you, we knew the first night. Your stupid screaming woke us both up and when Mom found out what was happening, she gave me a set of ear plugs and told me to forget what we saw. It was so easy to pretend he wasn't fucking you, I'd just look the other way. How old were you the first time Jimmy? Five? Six? Pathetic. How about trying to kill yourself when you were eleven? But you didn't go through with it, you jumped out of the car before it went over the cliff and came back home. You ran away from home when you were fifteen and we thanked every god there is that we didn't see you again. And then we see you on the vid, the fucking hero of the world," he snorted and continued hatefully. "So here I am, just letting you know that no matter how many people you manage to fool, we still know that you're a worthless, pathetic, weak bastard who never should have been born. See ya round Jimmy." He finished with a hateful laugh.

He passed Spock without a glance and continued on his way satisfaction and triumph written on every line of his face. Spock shook slightly trying to contain his volatile emotions, after battling them down again. He decided to continue his walk through the garden, after all surely Kirk would have left too.

He rounded the curve of the path and froze at the sight of Kirk sitting on a bench, his face in his hands and shaking violently, muffled sobs tearing their way out of his chest with painful sounds. Spock was utterly confounded, where was the Kirk that didn't care? The one who was always confident? What were the proper protocols for this? Was he supposed to ignore the obvious distress of the other man, attempt to comfort him, or simply walk away?

Spock didn't know what to do, even if he tried to comfort the other man what was to say he would accept it from Spock. With a last look at the devastated younger man he turned and left silently, giving Jim Kirk his privacy in the violent grief that surrounded him.

Spock cast one last look over his shoulder at the hunched figure and went to find Dr. McCoy.

He found him crossing the large expanse of grass in front of the main office of the Academy. He caught McCoy's eyes and call out to him, with a wary look the older man changed his course and made his way to Spock.

"Commander, what can I do for you?" he asked gruffly, suspicion nearly buried in his accent. "You aren't sick are you?"

"I am not." Spock hesitated before continuing. "I overheard a conversation Captain Kirk was having with his brother and believe he may welcome the opportunity to become inebriated, he is in the courtyard behind the science block." McCoy's sharp mind connected the dots quickly and the look he shot Spock was unreadable.

"How much did you hear?" he asked, his hands in fists at his sides.

"Enough to know that the majority of my thoughts about Kirk were false," he hesitated further then continued quietly. "And that he is much stronger than I ever anticipated." McCoy nodded sharply at that and met his eyes with conviction.

"Jim may act like a idiotic brat but he is the most loyal and trustworthy person you will ever depend on. The boy's a genius and a decent person, neither are things you expect from someone with his past." It was McCoy's turn to hesitate this time. "Jim's refusing to name a first officer, stay with the Enterprise, it'll be good for both of you," he said with conviction. And with that he turned and went to find his best friend.

Spock watched him go and silently mused that maybe staying with the Enterprise was the right thing. Even if all he managed to do was figure out Jim Kirk, a stubborn human who didn't fit into any of the parameters that he could usually class humans in.

How utterly fascinating.


	4. Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's out of order but already written so....

Hate

 

Jim hated to lose. He hated to be proven wrong. He hated the unfounded and unjustified comments about him being a cheating playboy. He hated the looks of disgust and dislike that coloured the faces of people who didn't even know him. He hated the whispers and gossip. He hated how no one was willing to look beyond the brash exterior he exerted as a mask, a shield between him and the rest of the world.

He hated that Bones could read him so well. He hated that his mother couldn't look at him. He hated his brother for leaving when he couldn't take Jim with him. He hated his step father with every fiber of his being. He hated his father for dying. He hated Nero for killing his father and destroying Vulcan.

He hated the looks he received after the Narada incident, the ones that said 'good boy, well done, are you going to behave now'. He hates how powerless he feel. He hates the restrictions placed on him. He hates having to bow to others wishes. He hates having to jump through hoops just to keep the Enterprise.

He hates the wide eyed look of absolute trust Chekhov gives him. He hates the blind devotion Sulu gives him after the incident on the drill. He hates the scathing look Uhura gives him every time he speaks to her.

He hates the way women flock to him after his name is in the media. He hates the looks of veiled disdain Spock gives him, thinking that Jim can't see it. He hates when Uhura curses him in other languages thinking he can't understand them.

He hates that with the exception of maybe ten people everyone in Starfleet thinks he's a jumped up cadet who never should have got the Enterprise. He hates that everyone thinks he's an idiot. He hates that he didn't warn the rest of the fleet about Nero.

He hates that he cares.

He hates that he would do anything to keep Chekhov an innocent. He hates that he revels sometimes in the look of devotion Sulu gives him. He hates that after a year together on the Enterprise Uhura still looks at him like he's scum. He hates how much it hurts when Spock treats him like a errant child. He hates when he has to censor everything he says, because a captain must act just so.

He hates remembering his past. He hates who he used to be. He hate Admiral Pike for dragging him out of his drunken fog. He hates Spock Prime for giving him hope.

He hates Bones for never letting him fall.

He hates himself for every person he loses.

But most of all he hates that he's broken, that he's shattered, that in another time line he was a real hero. That the other him had Spock's support, Uhura's respect, a reason for Sulu's belief, and a way to preserve Chekhov's innocence. He hates that he knows this deep in his heart and in the memories he had inadvertently been given. He knows and hates that in another life he was a better person.


End file.
